The Truth About Motherhood and Having It All

You have heard it before: “Moms can have it all.” And I agree that moms can…but not all at once. What do you think?

Let’s look at what is happening to moms during this pandemic. In September 2020 alone, 865,000 women left the workforce at four times the rate of men—why? Moms couldn’t send their children to school.

Supervision was needed for virtual learning. Household responsibilities, the daily cooking and cleaning, were still needed. No, I do not believe that chores are only specific to women or moms. However, most of the caregiving still falls to women.  In fact, research shows that female caregivers spend 50% more time providing care compared to male caregivers.

The pandemic has demonstrated more so than ever that moms can’t have it all at once. Some of the most educated women have put their career aspirations on the backburner to allow their husband’s career to take precedence.  Our former first lady, Michelle Obama, is one example. To be clear, there is no judgement.  The point is that this idea that moms can have it all places undue stress and strain on moms to make it a reality. What happens in return is that there are a lot of moms burned out, stressed, and depressed because the quest to have it all has led them on an unattainable, elusive journey.

What can moms do?

Bloom where you’re planted. Life is made up of seasons and seasons don’t last long.

So, in your season of early motherhood (birth to toddler), enjoy your babies and if you want to start a business or ministry, use that time to brainstorm and test the waters.  As your children mature and become more independent, work to grow the business. This is not a throwback to the 60’s but I do believe that in this fast-paced, have-it-all-right-now world, an undue amount of stress, strain, and pressure has been placed on moms. This strain positions moms to be overwhelmed, frustrated, and unhappy.

Mom, you can have it all but maybe not all in the same season.